I don’t know if it’s just me. But sometimes I’m watching a game and see a player and think he surely can’t be human. Some of them you have to squint to see and others basically smack you in the face and say ” hey world, I look like a different species.” These are the players who find themselves confused when discussing the animal kingdom in a biology class.
5. Ray Allen- The most prolific 3 point shooter in NBA history is one of the best player of his era and a solid member of the NBA community off the court as well. But is it possible that the unreal marksman gets his shooting prowess from somewhere under the sea? Is it possible he is a…dolphin?
4. Kurt Thomas- The NBA vet has seen his fair share of seasons and although he never was considered an elite player, he has often been credited for being a defensive presence and leader in the locker room in all of the teams he has been through. What many don’t know is that Kurt Thomas may in fact be …..a horned bullfrog.
Where Kurt Thomas lacks in talent, he makes up for in looking like a wise bullfrog. Leave him be and he will teach the ways of the court/pond.
3. Pau Gasol- He’s an Ostrich. I’m not going to beat around the bush with this one. I wondered when I first heard the name Pau, where a name like that could come from, but now I know. A family of birds. Somewhere in the wilderness, there is a kingdom of ostriches who train to become basketball stars. I know it exists, I just have to find it and hope they accept me into their ostrich training facility.
3. Evan Turner- The young forward has come into his own this season, but I have been theorizing for a while may secretly be hiding a dark secret. Despite the fact that this guy could floss with a power line, it isn’t a horse that comes to mind when looking at this man.
I’ll be honest, I don’t know what the hell that thing is but I’m pretty sure it crawled out of my nightmares and into a fish tank. It looks like a lizard had intimate relations with a bag of skittles and put on blue contacts. If dragons ever are to exist, I assume this deadeyed rainbow colored amphibian from hell will be the starting point. Don’t expect me to find a picture of this thing playing basketball, for all I know the thing causes diabetes from looking at it for too long.
2. Steve Nash- So here we have one of the best point guards of all time in Steve Nash. There are any number of creatures you could compare his unique face shape to, but honestly, there’s only one thing that he looks like and/or is. ….Tom Petty
Look, I’m not saying that Tom Petty found a time machine in 1970 and used it to come to the future and have a hall of fame basketball career, but I’m also not not saying that’s what happened. Do you think you’re fooling anyone with that hair dye Steve/Tom? I’m not saying this is bad thing, but if I somehow get to interview you one day and ask you if getting making it to the NBA was like Running Down a Dream, I expect you to sing.
1. Chris Bosh- Ladies and Gentleman, introducing the last known living dinosaur on planet earth. Everyone thinks the dinosaurs were wiped out millions of years ago, but one survived. The velociraptor himself Chris Bosh.
Sidenote- Fairly certain Chris Bosh could fit an entire coconut in his mouth if challenged.
…..Sidenote 2- Chris Bosh, I challenge you to fit an entire coconut in your mouth.